I'm Scared...and That's Okay

Why am I so terrified that people won’t like me? What is it I’m imagining their negative opinion will mean? Why am I giving such power to something I have absolutely no control over?? 

The funny thing is that I used to pretend I didn’t care. Pretend no one’s opinion mattered to me and that I was too tough to worry. But the more I pretended, the more reactive I became, and the easier it was for a glance, a word, a whisper of criticism to shatter my fragile armour of “self”. 

But the more I OWN it, the more I can just honestly accept that I’m scared...that affirmations and reassurance from others make me feel safer and more secure...and sometimes I just want that SO desperately...the less it seems to matter, and the less those fears need to dominate my life.

Oh mind, you are a prison when I fight against you...but a delightful mystery when I love you anyways ❤️

Hayley Watsonmusings